Medieval remedyes

"Treating gout of thee foote
severe thee foote and bury in the grave of a Spanish ombudsman, dance a merry caper and eat the berries of the bramble bushe"

"Treating Daemonic possession...
Soak clothe in a bowl of milk humours from teate of a wise womanne. Slyce open the heade of thee possessed and presse clothes in. Burrye thee possessed under dung for a weeke. If thyse faile then thee physician maye be called to remove thee eyes. Thee eyes then be burryed in a hogs ditch."

"Rattes in lung cavitee:
An afflicktion in wych thee lungs become sore with ratte tailes and furr, and the aroma of thee droppyngs causes chokeing.
To remedye a lyve femayle cat must be wetted with three tankards of fermente and attached to thee face of thee afflickted. Mayke sure that thee teats are close to thee face and thee beaste is securely fasten'd so that thee breath can only pass thru thee teates. Thee teats coveryng thee mouth of afflickted will absorb the lung breath and breath only pass thru these teats. To hydrate the afflickte thou must pass fluide into thee catte firste. Anye escaping rattes will be eate. If by thee third daye the afflickte stoppe breathing then an alternatyve diagoniss is that the afflyckte has dyed. Thee cat is burned."

"Thee Sack Cankers ov Swine
A sore affliction of thee buboe'd ballbag.
Seeping welts cover the testys of swine keepers, resulting in gross swelling and much gnashing of teethe in payns diabolic.
A cure recent and pure geniuse in its division by one Regibald Chokeworth the IIIrd - Pastor of Islington Leper Colony - has current become the mainstay of treatmentes.
Pouring the bathwater of thee prostitutes of Paris into the hollowe skull of a tartar and mixing with the multifarious shavings of Stilton. Thee ballbag of the afflicted should be douched twice score dayley while the head of the patient beaten upon't with a large stone mallet to cause thee cankers to drop by much agitation.