By Bernard Winters (formerly Bernie Winters)
After the death of Schnorbitz television Celebri-tard Bernard Winters, embarks on a gruelling non stop 100 hour quest to create the greatest shoe from the innards of various domestic animals in this semi auto-biographical farmyard gorefest.
Nominated for the Booker prize at least never, readers have vaunted this work for its searing prose. Few who have read a protracted, 200 page description of his numerous failed attempts to create laces out of randy bullocks can say they were the same again. We can all identify the spirit of defeat encountered by an overweight sixty year old - who finally, bloodily admitted "you cant make a lace from a live bull".
Nookie Bear comments:
"Its just a 900 page tome of a once tolerated z list celeb fucking the shit out of animals in a pihrouetting carousel of gore and abberant stupidity - it makes me sick that this was even allowed to happen - let alone become a published book... please, get the fuck off my lawn..."
Preorder your copy now.
Beautiful. Nookie Bear knows his shit. I'd actually employ him, as long as he was kept WELL away from the office girls.
Even after reading this... ???
Nookie Bear's Most Famous maulings and me, by Roger de Coursey
Estranged Bear / Arse / Fister / Barse Roger de Coursey's incendiary expose of the true horror of his ursa / erstewhile (jegetmeh?) comedy buddy.
Over the course of 20 years Nookie secretly put the CHOWbiz into showbiz - mauling and devouring stray audience members and stage hands across the working mens' clubs of the northeast in a bloody swathe of fangery.
I mean, he's a bear - what did anyone expect?
Wilf Lunn reflects...
"He actually killed me, ate every last shred... i dont blame him or his sore, sorry expanded arse. Luckily for me, my Guatemalan wife and my legion of adoring fans, and the producers of the great egg race, managed to close me using rubber bands, meccano and some spunk that ZZ Top left on the hair of a nurse."
Also available as a talking book, read by Cat Stevens (who isnt actually a cat - but who's counting eh?)
No comments:
Post a Comment